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World Poetry Translation Project


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A Tale Of The Thirteenth Floor

by Ogden Nash

The hands of the clock were reaching high
In an old midtown hotel;
I name no name, but its sordid fame
Is table talk in hell.
I name no name, but hell's own flame
Illumes the lobby garish,
A gilded snare just off Times Square
For the maidens of the parish.

The revolving door swept the grimy floor
Like a crinoline grotesque,
And a lowly bum from an ancient slum
Crept furtively past the desk.
His footsteps sift into the lift
As a knife in the sheath is slipped,
Stealthy and swift into the lift
As a vampire into a crypt.

Old Maxie, the elevator boy,
Was reading an ode by Shelley,
But he dropped the ode as it were a toad
When the gun jammed into his belly.
There came a whisper as soft as mud
In the bed of an old canal:
"Take me up to the suite of Pinball Pete,
The rat who betrayed my gal."

The lift doth rise with groans and sighs
Like a duchess for the waltz,
Then in middle shaft, like a duchess daft,
It changes its mind and halts.
The bum bites lip as the landlocked ship
Doth neither fall nor rise,
But Maxie the elevator boy
Regards him with burning eyes.
"First, to explore the thirteenth floor,"
Says Maxie, "would be wise."

Quoth the bum, "There is moss on your double cross,
I have been this way before,
I have cased the joint at every point,
And there is no thirteenth floor.
The architect he skipped direct
From twelve unto fourteen,
There is twelve below and fourteen above,
And nothing in between,
For the vermin who dwell in this hotel
Could never abide thirteen."

Said Max, "Thirteen, that floor obscene,
Is hidden from human sight;
But once a year it doth appear,
On this Walpurgis Night.
Ere you peril your soul in murderer's role,
Heed those who sinned of yore;
The path they trod led away from God,
And onto the thirteenth floor,
Where those they slew, a grisly crew,
Reproach them forevermore.

"We are higher than twelve and below fourteen,"
Said Maxie to the bum,
"And the sickening draft that taints the shaft
Is a whiff of kingdom come.
The sickening draft that taints the shaft
Blows through the devil's door!"
And he squashed the latch like a fungus patch,
And revealed the thirteenth floor.

It was cheap cigars like lurid scars
That glowed in the rancid gloom,
The murk was a-boil with fusel oil
And the reek of stale perfume.
And round and round there dragged and wound
A loathsome conga chain,
The square and the hep in slow lock step,
The slayer and the slain.
(For the souls of the victims ascend on high,
But their bodies below remain.)

The clean souls fly to their home in the sky,
But their bodies remain below
To pursue the Cain who each has slain
And harry him to and fro.
When life is extinct each corpse is linked
To its gibbering murderer,
As a chicken is bound with wire around
The neck of a killer cur.

Handcuffed to Hate come Doctor Waite
(He tastes the poison now),
And Ruth and Judd and a head of blood
With horns upon its brow.
Up sashays Nan with her feathery fan
From Floradora bright;
She never hung for Caesar Young
But she's dancing with him tonight.

Here's the bulging hip and the foam-flecked lip
Of the mad dog, Vincent Coll,
And over there that ill-met pair,
Becker and Rosenthal,
Here's Legs and Dutch and a dozen such
Of braggart bullies and brutes,
And each one bends 'neath the weight of friends
Who are wearing concrete suits.

Now the damned make way for the double-damned
Who emerge with shuffling pace
From the nightmare zone of persons unknown,
With neither name nor face.
And poor Dot King to one doth cling,
Joined in a ghastly jig,
While Elwell doth jape at a goblin shape
And tickle it with his wig.

See Rothstein pass like breath on a glass,
The original Black Sox kid;
He riffles the pack, riding piggyback
On the killer whose name he hid.
And smeared like brine on a slavering swine,
Starr Faithful, once so fair,
Drawn from the sea to her debauchee,
With the salt sand in her hair.

And still they come, and from the bum
The icy sweat doth spray;
His white lips scream as in a dream,
"For God's sake, let's away!
If ever I meet with Pinball Pete
I will not seek his gore,
Lest a treadmill grim I must trudge with him
On the hideous thirteenth floor."

"For you I rejoice," said Maxie's voice,
"And I bid you go in peace,
But I am late for a dancing date
That nevermore will cease.
So remember, friend, as your way you wend,
That it would have happened to you,
But I turned the heat on Pinball Pete;
You see - I had a daughter, too!"

The bum reached out and he tried to shout,
But the door in his face was slammed,
And silent as stone he rode down alone
From the floor of the double-damned.


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  Translations for this Poem
 English  Spanish  French  German
 Italian  Portuguese  Korean  Russian
 Chinese  Japanese    
 

  Poems by Ogden Nash
  1. Adventures Of Isabel
  2. Agrave Bas Ben Adhem
  3. Always Marry An April Girl
  4. A Caution To Everybody
  5. A Drink With Something In It
  6. A Lady Who Thinks She Is Thirty
  7. A Tale Of The Thirteenth Floor
  8. A Word To Husbands
  9. Bankers Are Just Like Anybody Else Exce
  10. Biological Reflection
  11. Celery
  12. Childrens Party
  13. Columbus
  14. Come On In The Senility Is Fine
  15. Common Cold
  16. Crossing The Border
  17. Custard The Dragon And The Wicked Knigh
  18. Everybody Tells Me Everything
  19. Family Court
  20. First Child Second Child
  21. Fleas
  22. Further Reflections On Parsley
  23. Good-By Now or Pardon My Gauntlet
  24. Goody For Our Side And Your Side Too
  25. Grandpa Is Ashamed
  26. Introspective Reflection
  27. I Didnt Go To Church Today
  28. I Do I Will I Have
  29. Just Keep Quiet And Nobody Will Notice
  30. Kiplings Vermont
  31. Lather As You Go
  32. Lines Indited With All The Depravity Of
  33. Lines On Facing Forty
  34. Lines To Be Embroidered On A Bib
  35. Listen
  36. Look What You Did Christopher
  37. More About People
  38. My Dream
  39. No Doctors Today Thank You
  40. No You Be A Lone Eagle
  41. Oh To Be Odd
  42. Old Dr Valentine To His Son
  43. Old Men
  44. One From One Leaves Two
  45. One Third Of The Calendar
  46. Peekabo I Almost See You
  47. PG Wooster Just As He Useter
  48. Portrait Of The Artist As A Prematurely
  49. Possessions Are Nine Points Of Conversa
  50. Pretty Halcyon Days
  51. Reflections On Ice-Breaking
  52. Reflection On A Wicked World
  53. Reflection On Babies
  54. Reflection On Caution
  55. Reflection On The Fallibility Of Nemesi
  56. Requiem
  57. Samson Agonistes
  58. Soliloquy In Circles
  59. Song Of The Open Road
  60. Song To Be Sung By The Father Of Infant
  61. So Does Everybody Else Only Not So Much
  62. Spring Comes To Murray Hill
  63. Tableau At Twilight
  64. The Abominable Snowman
  65. The Ant
  66. The Boy Who Laughed At Santa Claus
  67. The Camel
  68. The Cantaloupe
  69. The Catsup Bottle
  70. The Centipede
  71. The Chipmunk
  72. The Clean Plater
  73. The Cow
  74. The Cuckoo
  75. The Dog
  76. The Duck
  77. The Eel
  78. The Firefly
  79. The Fly
  80. The Germ
  81. The Guppy
  82. The Hippopotamus
  83. The Hunter
  84. The Jellyfish
  85. The Joyous Malingerer
  86. The Lion
  87. The Middle
  88. The Octopus
  89. The Ostrich
  90. The Parent
  91. The People Upstairs
  92. The Perfect Husband
  93. The Pig
  94. The Porcupine
  95. The Praying Mantis
  96. The Purist
  97. The Rhinoceros
  98. The Romantic Age
  99. The Shrimp
  100. The Sniffle
  101. The Solitary Huntsman
  102. The Squab
  103. The Swan
  104. The Tale of Custard the Dragon
  105. The Termite
  106. The Terrible People
  107. The Turtle
  108. The Wasp
  109. Tin Wedding Whistle
  110. To A Small Boy Standing On My Shoes Whi
  111. To My Valentine
  112. Very Like A Whale
  113. Whats The Use
  114. What Almost Every Woman Knows Sooner Or
  115. Winter Complaint
  116. You Can Be A Republican Im A Genocrat
 
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPRSTVWY[ALL] 
  Octavio Paz 
  Ogden Nash 
  Oliver Goldsmith 
  Oliver Wendell Holmes 
  Oscar Wilde 
  Osip Mandelstam 
  Ovid 
   

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