SOS - Daughter out of control

[tarry66]

Lily,
Your right its better to react to the Situation now than not and should have... tough Love is sometimes the hardest medicine to give her, but it can be the cure to the problem... Just follow your heart, cause you know what you want for her and its always the best.

Prayers and Many Blessing for your Family
God Bless
Terry

[lilylive]

Hi Terry

Tough love is tougher than i expected.  Not that anyone can foresee these things happening to their kids. We read about it happening to others, and can't imagine it touching your own family.  We're still looking into our options for her. Which gives us some time to explore and get some things happening for her. Yesterday she ran away in the wee hours, and after that storm, brings today where she seems to have settled, for now.  She has said she may go to school tomorrow, we'll see. She went on Monday, and seemed to have a good day (the 3rd day she's gone out of 14 days since term started). Thanks Terry for caring, and mostly...for your prayers and blessings.

~Lily

[Lillyfrog]

Lily,

Sorry I didn't respond sooner.  Hope this week is a better one. I hope the hospital you took her to is helping.  Please don't be yourself up.  I know it is hard, because I question myself everyday. Should I have done this or that.  You are right a lot of parents are in denial.  I know everyday is a struggle.  Try to remember this, you are her parent first, alot of the words she is saying to you and your family is out of frustration (my opinion) of her trying to deal with this disorder and the anger that is always with her.  Alot of what she is saying about hating her life etc, is part of the ODD, they hate boundaries, any authority.  So try and remember while she is saying these things to you, she is not so much hating you, she is hating the authority of you.  I constantly tell my son stop, think, pinch yourself and turn around before you speak ( not literaly, but just to give their mind to hopefully process it ) before they they start going into negatives about everything.   I'm am now using my own advice.  Because it is so hard not to react to the negative, and try to promote positive in a negative child.  Since she is not wanting to go to school.  You might want to check out  home schooling.    Please remember keep you chin up. I know this is hard, usually every night I cry, just to let go of the frustrations of the day!!   Every day I tell my son think positive, every evening I ask how was school anything positive happen today.  Just trying to get him into positive thinking.  Which I'm sure he thinks I wish she would quit nagging. LOL But I can't. I am trying to so hard to get him to see thinking anything positive is better than negative.  Only time will tell.  I know this sounds silly but maybe make a chart kinda, like you did when kids were little and you wanted them to clean there room and there was a reward.   Talk with her couslelor, list things that she can do that is positive every day.  Have a goal , that when she reaches so many good days, going to school, or having positive thinking, not running away etc.   That you & her or family go do something she really would love to do.   Please keep in touch. You and your family are in our prayers.  And remember you are awesome, just for being aware, and trying to find that little girl that you love and remember so much.  She is there and she will be again happy.

Take care
Dawn

[† Vindicated Vigilante †]

Let me tell ya something! Life is a choice. Where you go, what you do, how you handle every situation you are faced with there’s a multitude of options. What you need to determine is where you sit… In your own life. If you can’t hold a demeanor that you would like to instill in your kid you have already lost the battle. Make it a point to go see a psychiatrist yourself… lead by example. What you got to do is make sure your example is the best you can set. Once you can affirmatively say you live a lifestyle that is as flawless as possible. Then and only then can you contain your child. Through Love, Peace and pure Truthfulness… talk with them like they were a peer but guide them like a parent. Get on there level as far as how you are communicating and I don’t mean cuss and throw temper tantrums. Tough love may be necessary don’t be afraid to use it. I got all my tough love from the world. But I got the picture some don’t!

Im gona shoot you strait I have a real rough back ground I have more scars on my face than most have on there whole body. My nose has been broke 6 times in the past 3 years…. I was problem child and young adult. I just recently found Jesus and got baptized. And the only reason im not actin a fool is because…

A  I have to set an example for my generation… because they can’t govern them self’s.
B. I got a child the way with a 31 year old crack w**** junkie … that’s to the T.
C. I gave my life up to God and I’m here to crusade in His name.

Good Luck & God Bless!

Love & Peace
Truly,
Brandon

[tarry66]

Hello Lilly,
I just wanted to know how everything was going with your daughter, I hope all is well .


God Bless
Terry